It’s News Day Tuesday!

Posted in Action, David Cronenberg, Retrospective, horror, movie, news, sci-fi with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2009 by xymarla

Did everyone have a horrifantastic Halloween? Ready to get down to business now? Let’s do it!

terminator

As you have likely heard, Halcyon is putting the rights to Terminator up for sale, hoping to get around $70 mil despite McG’s best efforts to render the franchise worthless.

Joss throws his hat in the ring.

I’m sure you’re all shocked as shit to hear that Paramount’s giving the sequel treatment to surprise hit Paranormal Activity. To those of you who very understandably ask, “How is that gonna work?”, fear not, says Viacom CEO Philippe Dauman: “Our team will come up with the right creative and marketing approach.” Relief!

More awesome news! Minus the awesome! Film started rolling on the Let the Right One In remake. Matt Reeves (Cloverfield) continues to desperately cling to the illusion that he is not a soulless piece of suit: “This project is very personal to Matt as it is to the many passionate fans of the original story,” says Simon Oakes, President and CEO of Hammer Films. The brilliance of that story deserves to be seen by audiences on a wide scale and we are excited that the pieces are in place to make that a reality.” Hey, you know what’s on a wide scale? NETFLIX. WHERE I RENTED THE ORIGINAL FILM AND ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH. Ass.

So, so cool. Anthony Hopkins is looking to bring his pedigree to Thor as the title character’s father, Odin. That is some BRILLIANT casting.

Check out the intriguing new trailer for YellowBrickRoad starring Cassidy Freeman of Smallville.

Here’s a list of this week’s tremendously blah DVD releases, courtesy of me via 29-95.

Review Preview:

They’re coming soon! I promise!

Smallville Season 9 Report Card

Posted in New Review, comic book, news, television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 29, 2009 by xymarla

Hello Smallville fans! This post is for you today–that’s right, every single one of you!

As previously posted on DIH, producers are marveling that the typical death knell that is the Friday Night Move is proving to not be as lethal as expected for our resilient little show. Smallville’s pretty much kicking ass and taking names in the Friday night department (hardly a juggernaut evening, but still), and producers and other PTB are already talking about a 10th season. Do I want this to be a show that lasts forever? I really don’t. I was actually seriously pushing to have it end during Season 7. But you know, Season 7 sucked. Massively. I was just ready for them to shoot the limping dog already.*

*I actually do not advocate shooting handi-capable animals.

But now Smallville has some great new characters, a glossy new look, and has taken the intriguing steps of developing Clark from a whiny, self-important farm boy into a charming and smoking hot Professional Man of Business–not to mention a man of business SUITS rather than that damned Member’s Only jacket. See the improvement?

Exhibit A: Lame Clark

Exhibit B: Sexy Clark

No comparison!

So yeah, now that the show has dropped all of the weak (*cough LANA cough*) storylines, embraced the Superman canon and suited up Mr. Welling, I find myself having absolutely no problem with the concept of a 10th season. 10 seasons…wow. This show is old.

But this is shaping up to be a pretty great season, no? I think Season 8 may peak as what I consider to be Smallville’s greatest season ever (excluding the inexplicable and utterly random finale, of course), but I’ve really enjoyed the darker, more mature approach Exec Producers Souders and Petersen have taken with Season 9. It’s wonderful to see Clark exploring his Kryptonian heritage in a healthy way, and undertaking his training at the Fortress of Solitude, the final step towards his becoming the Superman that we all know from the comic books (or perhaps from the Christopher Reeve movies).

So here’s what’s working about the season, beyond the above infallible bonus of dressing Tom Welling in some big boy pants.

(all pics from CW, and look at me, using legitimate photos and giving credit! I feel so lawful!)

1)

Brian Austin Green as Metallo was AWESOME. I’ve always loved that DC Comics evil version of Iron Man, and Smallville has puts its always intriguing twist on the canon. I know a lot of geeks hate that no DC character is ever exactly who he or she is in the comics, but I kind of dig it.  It means I’m never spoiled on these storylines, and I appreciate that. Metallo will definitely be back to eff some more shizz up old school, and I personally can’t wait.

2)

Callum Blue as ZOD, dude. ZOD. That’s right, the REAL Zod, not the weak-ass Lex Luthor-inhabited version who actually fell in love with Lana the way EVERY CHARACTER EVER DID ON THE SHOW BACK THEN. I’m sorry, but ZOD? In love with LANA?! I’m still a little touchy about it. Callum Blue plays Major Zod, before he’s been generalized (that’s probably not the proper terminology for someone becoming a general).  He’s going to look like this in his Kandor duds:

and it’s a good look,  yeah? And the iconic “Kneel before Zod” line was beautifully executed in the premiere—with a twist, of course, always with a twist.

Just for kicks, here’s Jor-El, another legendary character whose voice we’ve only heard in the past, and who we’ll apparently be seeing this season.

And he’s hot and…blonde? And he doesn’t look exactly like Tom Welling like he did in that one S3 ep where he had an affair with Lana’s grandmother or something, who looked just like Lana? Hey, if the producers want to pretend like that episode never happened, that is fine with me. Superfine.

3)

CHLOE!!!! I should have put this at the top of the list of things that work about this and every other season of Smallville. Chloe is such a fun, brilliant, charming and loyal character, and Allison Mack is a fantastic actress with the PRETTIEST HAIR I LOVE HER OMG! Okay, sorry, but I do, I really do.

And she’s KIND of a bad-ass this season (even more than usual, that is), finally fully embracing her Watchtower role in the Justice League by living in the super sweet literal watchtower Jimmy bought for her. *sob* Okay, we won’t talk about Jimmy (especially the stupid loophole of his not being the real Jimmy Olsen or something). I desperately miss Aaron Ashmore, one of my biggest crushes ever, but I can’t say I’m not picking up on the chemistry between Chloe and Alessandro Juliani as Dr. Emil Hamilton.  He’s certainly smart enough for her! And sweet Jimmy kind of…wasn’t.

Then (*sniff*):

Now (hmmm…):

Is Emil who the producers keep hinting about regarding Chloe’s new love interest? Interesting…

I’m ready for Chloe and Clark to renew their bestie-ship, because it’s one of my favorite aspects of the show, but I’ve appreciated the believably strained exchanges they’ve had at the beginning of this season. Chloe and Clark have been through a lot and not all friendships are solid all of the time. Although thank lordy this picture of an upcoming ep makes it clear they’ll be back to besties in no time!

4)

Clark is all grow’d up! He’s actually going out and saving people of his own accord and not just when catastrophes stumble onto his farm!

Granted, The Blur (his current nickname until he reaches Superman fame, as he blurs by to save people without ever being seen) started his journey in Season 8, but he’s seriously stepping up to the plate now, eye-burning the Superman emblem (a Kryptonian symbol of his heritage) as a lingering reminder of hope after each daring rescue.

5)

Okay, so I’d be remiss to exclude Lois (Erica Durance) from the kudos fest. I’ll be the first to admit that I violently hated her when she was first introduced to the show in Season 4, but you guys have to admit, she was vile, right? Outrageously obnoxious. I’m pleased to see that the show actually intended a journey for her, and she’s grown into someone I quite like—complex, stubborn, determined and occasionally vulnerable.

And I have to admit, yeah, I’ve always cherished a hope for the everlasting love of Chloe and Clark to flower, but I’ve accepted that’s never going to happen. Lois and Clark, right? That’s the story we all know. And lord knows, they do have chemistry.

Plus girlfriend can rock a pencil skirt! Chloe and Clark have bloomed into one of television’s greatest friendships (I’m including Willow and Buffy in there, so you know I’m serious), and Lois and Clark are well on their way to becoming the iconic twosome that are so familiar to us.  Plus, I’m shallow. Erica Durance used to have really bad hair:

and it’s improved immensely,

a trend which is directly relevent to my acceptance of her as Clark’s girlfriend. As long as Chloe has ONE ROMANCE THAT ENDS WELL, JUST ONE, MY GOD!, I’ll be happy.

6)

Justice ANYTHING. The show has slowly developed the Justice League, bringing in new members all the time. The two most regular?

Justin Hartley as Oliver Queen (Green Arrow)

and Phil Morris as John Jones (Martian Manhunter). Both are simply brutally hot, particularly Justin Hartley who LORD looks good in a tux!

and both are great actors and incredibly compelling characters, each of whom brings a different complexity to their relationships with Clark.

7)

And of course I love Oliver’s foil (and occasionally Clark’s foil…and sometimes Chloe’s foil…and often Lois’ foil…and lately Zod’s foil) Tess Mercer, or Mercy (Cassidy Freeman). She has definitely filled Michael Rosenbaum’s shoes as the resident stone cold bad-ass, but Mercy’s motivations are far less clear (and less clearly diabolical) than Lex Luthor’s. She’s intriguing as hell and her chemistry with Oliver burns up my screen every single week.

We’ve also had some legendary DC villains showing up, most recently the return of Chris Gaulthier as Winslow Schott (Toy Man):

 According to producers, we have loads more Justice League action and other DC characters in store this season, and I simply cannot  WAIT.

Obviously there are plenty of challenges this season, particularly with the departure of show-runners and writers since S1 Todd Slavkin and Darren Swimmer (for Melrose Place, WHAT?!), and I hope the tone lightens up somewhat and they tone it down with the wacky editing and futuristic montages. But all in all, as a lover from Season 1, someone who owns every season and created my own drinking game (with help from my fella, and I’ll publish that to DIH one day if there’s a demand for it. It’s kind of awesome), I feel I have the expertise to say: this is one helluva season, and I’m pleased as punch with the direction the show started last year and is continuing this season.

Link Drop!

Excellent IGN interview w/ Souders and Petersen here.

Smallville’s most prolific TV critic and spoiler, Michael Ausiello, gives all sorts of great news here. I love you, Ausiello! Thank you for not ignoring this show like all of your colleagues!

And The Hollywood Reporter marvels at Smallville’s sustainability here.

You can read hilarious and thorough recaps of all of Smallville’s eps here. Although the wonderful Omar is no longer recapping (SOB! Bye Omar, I’ll miss you!), this new Tippi Blevins is pretty cool, too.

Smallville is now on Fridays at 7pm central on the CW, which means if you have a life, you’ll never be able to watch it live, so Hulu the shit out of it, y’all.

Top 10 Halloween Must-See Movies This Year

Posted in Top List, horror, movie with tags , , , on October 28, 2009 by xymarla

Welcome, all! Want to look like these kids?

Then you’re in luck! Welcome to my totally unofficial and hastily crafted list of what I want to watch and most likely will watch this Halloween season! Halloween’s sadly getting a late start for me this year, an unprecedented occurance, so I’m totally going to make my scary movie-watching creep into November. Which is a hilarious thing to say, because ’round these parts, it’s always scary movie season.

Anyway! In alphabetical order, I present to you: MARLA’S TOP 10 HALLOWEEN MUST-SEE MOVIES THIS YEAR!

And no, I haven’t seen all of these yet, but I’m totally going to, so you can stick your “poseur!” back in your pants, Judge-y Bob. 

Obviously! I watched this Monday night and squealed in both delight and terror. Jerry will be reviewing it soon, so I’ll leave the rest up to him.

deadgirl

An incisive look at zombie rape. No, not rape BY zombies, that’s been done before. Rape OF zombies, by teenage boys. See? Incisive.

exorcist

An old standby. The only movie I can watch 40 or 50 times and still scare myself silly, which is obviously the goal. Trust me. I have tested this theory.

halloween

uhm DUH. The score is my ringtone. Even when it’s not Halloween.

hellraiser

Another duh. The movie around which this blog was formed. I just can’t help but watch these movies every year. I NEED them, okay? And so do you. You should listen to me; I’m a professional.

house of the devil

Oh HELLZ YES. I’ve got this coming in the mail thanks to a very good friend, and thanks to its Friday release date, you can catch it in time for Halloween, too!

paranormal activity

You gotta see one scary flick in the theater right? As much as I love couch time with my own refreshments, movies are always scarier when you can’t pause them or turn on the lights.

poster 70x100 Slither nl nieuw 5.indd

Abso. brilliant and deserving of its own post, which it will receive after I’m done rewatching it for the dozenth time.

suspiria

Another classic! Can’t have a schlock-fest without Argento!

And finally!

trick r treat

I’ve been waiting for this to come out on vid for MONTHS, and now it’s coming my way! Look at that cover! I’LL BE WATCHING YOU SOON, MOVIE. JUST YOU WAIT.

So, holla back, folks! What movies do you feel you have to watch every Halloween season?

It’s News Day Tuesday!

Posted in David Cronenberg, Interview, New Review, comic book, horror, movie, news, sci-fi, television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2009 by xymarla

Guys! I’m sorry to say, you’re stuck with me again, although I know you’ll surely miss the witty bloggish stylings of Jerry and Reverend Jon. I know I will! But THIS return-to-Marla-form NDTD has a very special OMG! BONUS FEATURE! WTF! at the end: two 10 Second Reviews of movies I watched but didn’t have time to review during Nuptial Mania 2009! You lucky bastards!

But first, le scoope:

the fourth kind

Creepy abduct-happy clip of sci-fi princess Milla Jovavich in The Fourth Kind here.

Oh my my my, this Supernatural fan convention ep sounds delicious! SoupCon!

If you’re as super-into The House of the Devil as I am (you are, right? Right??), you can twitter-flirt with filmmaker Ti West this Thursday! “Dear Mr. West, are you single? Love, Marla.” Just kidding! Obvs I’ll ask loads of super profesh questions as a solemn member of the blogging community.

Ooh ooh! Former Marla interviewee Trent Haaga (Troma vet and Deadgirl screenwriter) has been hooked up with his directorial debut, CHOP. Yay Trent! 

smallville_season9

Awesome! io9 calls Smallville the cockroach of TV, in the good way! Friday nights be damned, my silly little show is thriving. They’ve also got some Smallville spoilers here, as well as scoop on Avatar and True Blood.

I’ll post my new Weekly Movie Roundup when it’s up tomorrow!

OMG! BONUS FEATURE! WTF!

10 Second Review:

I was apparently the only person in America to watch this movie, and I was originally one of the most skeptical. But dudes–it was rad. Gory, hilarious, irreverent with incisive feminist undertones and featuring ADAM BRODY AS A DEVIL-WORSHIPPING BRANDON FLOWERS. Yeah, rent it.

Okay, it was a really long time ago that I watched this movie, and I wasn’t at my most sober, so! My seat shook, the dimensions were three-fold, there was a blatant rip-off of Chuck Palahniuk’s Guts, via the literal rip-off of this one douchebag’s actual guts. Anyhoo, I dug it. That first, most important death vision rocked, and as per yooj, you can’t beat Death, no, you just can’t beat him.

Review Preview:

the fourth kind

Tonight I’ll be checking out a sneak of The Fourth Kind, so look for my write-up on 29-95.com in the next couple of days.

the brood

Jerry will soon be kicking off DIH’s new David Cronenberg Retrospective with The Brood, a movie which I am shocked and ashamed to admit I saw for the first time JUST LAST NIGHT. DUUUUUUUUUDES. Prepare yourselves. Also, NEVER TRUST A TUMOR IN A SNOWSUIT.

If you’ll recall, the theater was sent a bum print when I was so thrilled to check out the midnight showing of Deadgirl ON MY BIRTHDAY. Well I am finally free and unfettered to watch and review it in the next week. Eeee!

Okay, so have a very, very super horrific Hallowee-k, and don’t lame out on a sister, yo: WEAR A COSTUME. EAT SOME CANDY. WATCH A SCARY MOVIE. DOOOOOO something this Halloween! I’ll do what I can to help out the cause by posting my Top 10 List of Halloween Must-Sees This Year tomorrow!

Interview with Charles Band

Posted in Interview, Stuart Gordon, horror, movie with tags , , , on October 22, 2009 by xymarla

puppetmaster

I’m back! Married and scary and ready to deliver the spooky goods! You’ll be seeing lots more action on DIH here in the next few weeks, and I’m going to be shaking things up with some new formatting changes and loads of new content. It’s all VERY EXCITING!

But in the meantime, check out my interview of Charles Band, producer of the Puppetmaster series and of most of my favorite Stuart Gordon flicks, on 29-95.com!

It’s News Day Tuesday!

Posted in Action, fantasy, horror, movie, news on October 13, 2009 by jerryochoa

newsdaytuesday1

Good evening, and Happy Tuesday!  Jerry here, giving you a quick update on the movie-newsies of the week.  Before we proceed, let me just be the first person to use Marla’s blog to post CONGRATULATIONS ON FINDING THE ONE PERSON AS COOL AS YOU AND THEN MARRYING HIM!

With that out of the way, let’s see what Hollywood has been up to, shall we?

Jackman

Oklahoma's "Curly"

Hugh Jackman adds to his reputation as “The Best Actor to Never Make a Good Movie” by considering the lead role in what Io9 describes as “RoboRocky.” I know, right?  A boxing movie about robots is totally gonna be the pic that finally lifts Jackman into Oscar territory!

OMG!

OMG!

Counterpointing Wolverine’s too-good-for-this-movie reputation, Olivia Wilde, a mostly-television actress, talks about playing the lead in motherfuckin’ Tron Legacy!

Stay away from the light!

Stay away from the light!

If you’d like to see Peter Jackson offer a different take on the afterlife than his version in The Frighteners, check out Wired Magazine’s behind-the-scenes video on PJ’s visual approach to The Lovely Bones.  There are possible spoilers in the video, but I’m told they are early reveals in the book as well, so click on through.

LiamNeeson

Liam Neeson, lounging around the house

Because he is Darkman, Schindler, Rob Roy, the guy from Taken, a Jedi, and an all-around Man among men, here’s a shot of Liam Neeson dressed up as ZEUS for Louis Leterrer’s upcoming Clash of the Titans “reimagining.”  Link here, but let me sum up by saying this movie is going to be some kind of awesome, though whether that’s the deliberate or accidental kind remains to be seen. The good? Neeson as Zeus, Sam Worthington as Perseus, Ralph Fiennes as Hades (of course), and Mads Mikkelsen with a sword.  And they’re shooting on 5 continents. The iffy? It’s the director and production team behind The Incredible Hulk.  Still, did you see that cast?!

quentin-tarantino-dp

Dude, that is a Jeremy Piven pose.

Here is Quentin Tarantino completely overwhelming some poor translator, while he discusses his plan to make a third Kill Bill movie.  This one will take place 10 years down the line, and will involve breathtaking, virtuosic filmmaking combined with soul-grinding, self-indulgent dialogue.  Who says filmmakers can’t grow (looking at you, Rodriguez…)?

Blahdriguez's new muse.  Watch out, Rose McGowan!

Blahdriguez's new muse. Watch out, Rose McGowan!

Speaking of Blahdriguez, it seems my ex-favorite director has decided to try and drag a few more souls to hell with him.  Variety reports that Oscar-winner and fool Adrien Brody has signed on to play the lead role of “heroic mercenary” in Predators, RR’s upcoming “reboot” of the once-awesome franchise.  RR is on a real role these days.  Why, just last month he had Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba on the same set for his trailer-turned-feature-film “Machete!” So, you can see why Adrien Brody wants in on the action.  According to Variety, Brody and his reps “lobbied hard for this one.” Who wouldn’t?

Bryan Singer (right), with Frank Langella

Bryan Singer (right), with Frank Langella

On the subject of directors who talk a lot, Bryan Singer is now “talking to Fox” about the possibility of directing another X-Men movie.  Singer’s been floating this possibility ever since he saw Brett (I Suck) Ratner pee all over his franchise, and he seems to be serious.  Yay?

cabin_in_the_woods

Finally, the highly anticipated Josh Whedon/Drew Goddard horror collaboration, The Cabin in the Woods, has been pushed back A YEAR by MGM, with a new release date of January 14, 2011.  That’s the bad news.  The good news? They are now going to release it in 3-D. 3-D!!

And that’s it! That is literally every single thing happening in the world of film.  See you next week, when the lovely, newly-married Marla returns!

It’s News Day Tuesday!

Posted in fantasy, horror, movie, news, sci-fi, television with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2009 by Jon

newsdaytuesday1

Faithful flock, it’s me again, Reverend Jon!

Finally! A Family Ties spinoff.

Finally! A Family Ties spinoff.

Canal Plus, a.k.a. The Euro HBO, a.k.a. the people behind every interesting foreign film you’ve seen, have given the go-ahead to a 12 episode mini-series based on the lives of everyone’s favorite incestuous murders (and no I don’t mean the Menendez brothers): the Borgias! This project is apparently going to be competing with a similar project headed up by Neil Jordan (The Crying Game, Interview with a Vampire) on Showtime.

Freddy Krueger doing the international sign for cunnilingus.

Freddy Krueger doing the international sign for cunnilingus.

In trailer news, A Nightmare On Elm Street, the newest incarnation of the Wes Craven classic, has a pretty okay trailer up on Bloody Disgusting. Marla fave Kyle Gallner stars along with some other people. It seems that Michael Bay has his grimy paws involved somehow, and they seem to be portraying Freddy as the victim of a band of vigilante parents taking fiery revenge on a marginalized member of society whom they perceive as being a child molester. Could this be coded anti-Polanski rhetoric released just in time to sway the scales of Swiss justice?

Skol!

Skol!

The Norwegian slasher flick that’s been getting a lot of positive buzz, Skjult (or Hidden) has a few new stills out. I have no idea what the movie is about, but my Skan-dar is telling me that it will be good–like everything else from that part of the world. The food, the music, the accommodations.

Forget my last few movies, I'm a serious actor! Remember Magnolia? Do you?

Forget my last few movies, I'm a serious actor! Remember Magnolia?

Well, I’ve officially heard it all. John C. Reilly is playing a vampire. Or at least, a vampire’s assistant. The movie is called Cirque du Freak, is based on some book, and also stars rogue breastfeeder Selma Hayek. This means that the whole vampire craze must be reaching its zenith. I hope! Next we’ll be hearing that Dame Judi Dench is reviving the role of Mina Harker.There’s an interview with Reilly here.

Jensen Ackles has a rider on his contract that his brow crease must be highlighted in all promotional material.

Jensen Ackles has a rider on his contract that his brow crease must be highlighted in all promotional material.

Strange PoMo spoiler over at i09 regarding Marla’s besties the Winchester bros. Apparently they will attend a Supernatural fan-con in an upcoming episode.

Putting the "AAAAAAAAAA!!!" back in "baby."

Putting the "AAAAAAAAAA!!!" back in "baby."

There’s a clip from the upcoming Splice. This movie has a great tagline:

Elsa and Clive, two young rebellious scientists, defy legal and ethical boundaries and forge ahead with a dangerous experiment: splicing together human and animal DNA to create a new organism. Named Dren, the creature rapidly develops from a deformed female infant into a beautiful but dangerous winged human-chimera, who forges a bond with both of her creators – only to have that bond turn deadly.

Species, eat your heart out!

Alright, until next week, when we will have an all-new guest blogger. Stay tooned!

It’s News Day Tuesday!

Posted in Action, horror, movie, news with tags , , , , , on September 29, 2009 by Jon

newsdaytuesday

Hello again, unwilling congregants, to another Church of Friend-sponsored edition of News Day Tuesday. Back so soon, Reverend Jon? you ask. Better believe it, I answer. Let’s get right to it!

I want <i>you</i> to be my next tween ruf-ee!

I want you to be my next tween ruf-ee!

Rosemary’s Baby-Daddy and internationally-recognized pederast Roman Polanski was, as you have probably heard, arrested in land-of-watches-chocolate-and-extradition Switzerland this past week. This development has forced difficult questions such as: How many wonderful movies make up for drugging and fornicating with a thirteen-year-old nymphette? Five, six? The decision is, ultimately, up to the Swiss judiciary system.

What you may not have heard about is Polanski’s next movie that is now stranded in post-production, The Ghost.

No! Not Ghost, <i>The</i> Ghost. RIP Patrick, btw.

No! Not Ghost, The Ghost. RIP Patrick, btw.

This mystery/thriller based on a Robert Harris novel (he wrote Silence of the Lambs, et. al.) stars Ewan MacGregor and Pierce Brosnan. Needless to say, this further complicates the whole artistic-expression-of-a-dirty-old-man versus safety-of-a-young-woman debate. See a teaser-trailer of The Ghost here.

Planned Parenthood asked Showtime to borrow this image for a fundraising campaign.

Planned Parenthood asked Showtime to borrow this image for a fundraising campaign.

Voted “Most Likely to Succeed” from the cast of Six Feet Under, Dexter has delivered with a fourth-season-debut episode that broke records for cable TV this past Sunday.

I warn you that the above video clip is not for the faint-of-heart (PoshD, this means you!). It is a preview for The Human Centipede. I found this very disturbing synopsis on Dread Central:

Two American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany they end up with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day they awake to find themselves trapped in a terrifying makeshift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. A German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins. However his three “patients” are not about to be separated, but joined together in an horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric system, in doing so bringing to life his sick lifetime fantasy “the human centipede”.

Gross!

In less disturbing news, the buzz around Tom Ford’s A Single Man is so loud, you’d think he filmed it on-location in a bee hive. Now Julianne Moore is being touted as another also-ran for the best actress statuette because apparently the girl from Precious will be impossible to beat.

Gimme that Oscar, Precious!

Gimme that Oscar, Precious!

And that’s all for this week. I have to get ready to head south and preside over the ceremony that will make Marla an honest woman! Come see me sometime.

the scoop.

Posted in news on September 28, 2009 by xymarla

I’m going to be taking a three-week hiatus from ye olde blogge for nuptial purposes. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! Your little Marla is joining the esteemed ranks of these ladies!

bride 1 by you.

My hair will look this awesome!

brides 3 by you.

My eyes will look this dramatic!

bride 2 by you.

My…woah. Katherine Heigl was in this movie?

Okay, so try to keep the weeping and teeth-gnashing to a minimum, yeah? I leave you in the highly capable and enthusiastic hands of the Reverend Jon and Mr. Jerry Ochoa. They’ll take good care of you, and when I return, I intend to blog my FACE OFF!

face by you.

Wish me luck!

Weekly Movie Roundup

Posted in Action, fantasy, horror, movie, news, sci-fi with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 23, 2009 by xymarla

It’s back! Scoop on Avatar, Dick Cook’s sudden departure from Disney, Johnny Depp hatin’ on Pirates, the worst romantic comedy trailer ever, Inglourious Basterds, Jennifer’s Body, The Final Destination, Sorority Row, casting for The A-Team, and an awesome Big Lebowski screening. Enjoy!

2995 by you.