It’s News Day Tuesday!

Hello internets! Did you miss me? You have so much to tell me!

sherlock-holmes-showest-tsrposter

The new Sherlock Holmes trailer looks pretty sweet, no?

This just in! Lars von Trier is a smug superior misogynist! Yeah, just kidding, nothing to see here.

(you guys just let me know if you ever get tired of seeing Willem Dafoe’s naked ass on here.)

TheOrphanageMoviePoster

El Orfanato‘s Bayona and Sánchez are reteaming for…?? A movie!

the strain

El Orfanato producer and Marla fave Guillermo del Toro discusses his ideas behind The Strain Trilogy. The video is not exactly riveting, I’ll tell you now. But he’s so cute!

Jerry railed against this eloquently in last week’s comments, but FUCK THIS NEWS. Fists of fury, anyone?

conchords

Flight of the Conchords fans rejoice: horror-comedy Diagnosis: Death is in the works. I’m reminded of the title Prognosis: Negative.

grimm

Bruce Willis blah de blah mainstream supernatural etc.

Vampire_Diaries

Vampires are the new zombies. When are mermaids going to get their 15 minutes, I ask you?

13 new images from Drag Me to Hell. Good lord, I feel like I’ve been waiting for this movie for decades! MAY 29, GET HERE ALREADY.

my bloody valentine

In the “news to no one” category, 3D is blowing up hella big. Talk to me after FD4: Death Trip 3D, yo. Also, HELL YES SHARKS.

Wait, fail. Dumbass producers dropped the “Death Trip 3D” part of the title. I guess they were afraid it sounded too AWESOME?

And yay, scream king Thomas Jane’s 3D directorial debut Dark Country is actually making it to theaters! With bestie Ron Perlman co-starring.

Usher2

Finally in 3D news: Yay, I love “Fall of the House of Usher“! I love Rufus Sewell! And I love 3D! As for contemporary adaptations, well, I’m a bit hot and cold. Here’s hoping for more Clueless and less Hamlet in Space, alright?

clash3

You can find some set pics of Clash of the Titans starring my new boyfriend Sam Worthington here.

pontypool

May 29th’s Pontypool already has a sequel in the works.

Casting for Thor is shaping up with Star Trek‘s Chris Hemsworth (also to be seen in Joss’s upcoming horror Cabin in the Woods) as the Nordic Marvel superhero and Tom Hiddleston as his arch nemesis Loki.

Here’s a lengthy interview with H2’s Rob Zombie. Homeboy’s chatty.

The Middle East luurves McG. Marla? A little less so. We’ll get to my feelings on Salvation later in the week.

hedwig

Marla fave John Cameron Mitchell is finally kicking principal photography into gear for his long-awaited third movie Rabbit Hole. The cast, she rocks.

manson_half

Is Oliver Stone eyeing a film update of Helter Skelter?

dolan's cadillac

You can find the trailer for the film version of Stephen King’s fucking awesome short story “Dolan’s Cadillac” here. It answers the following questions: a) Where the hell has Wes Bentley been? and b) Will Christian Slater ever stop ripping off Jack Nicholson’s shtick? (duh, no). Also starring Smallville’s gorgeous Emmanuelle Vaugier. I intend to be rather excited about this movie.

moth diaries

More on Mary Harron (American Psycho)’s adaptation of Rachel Klein’s The Moth Diaries. I was already excited about a kick-ass female director adapting an awesome female horror writer’s novel, but now they’ve cast SCOTT SPEEDMAN OMG I LOVE HIM SQUEEEE! Uh, I mean…grrrl power! 

hisss

In other frightful femme news, Jennifer Lynch’s new Hisss trailer is…esoteric. I guess cinematic inscrutability is a familial trait? 

after_dark_horrorfest

After Dark’s moderately successful 8 Films to Die For will be back for Round 4 next year.

darkhousepic1

Some director who is not Stuart Gordon has apparently given Jeffrey Combs license to scenery-chomp his little heart out in the upcoming Dark House. The trailer looks visually pretty sweet, otherwise pretty retarded. It also includes edgy new dialogue like “you got punk’d!” Oh these kids today and their wacky lingo.

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6 Responses to “It’s News Day Tuesday!”

  1. Okay, 1) Lars von Trier is so NOT the best filmmaker in the world. He’s not even anywhere near the top. Dancer in the Dark, aka a viciously tear-jerking vehicle for Bjork’s lame music?!? I’d say that Michael Bay might be a better filmmaker than Lars von Trier. 2) Hiss looks like a lady-Tribune movie, and 3) Christian Slater doesn’t really have much else going for him, so he might as well be the poor-man’s JN.

  2. xymarla Says:

    dubs true on all accounts, Rev. Especially in regards to LVT. SAVAGE BURN. He pissed me off, scoffing at Dario Argento. You fucking wish, asshat.

  3. OMG!!! i can’t believe an LJ smith series is being made into a TV show and it’s NOT “dark visions”!!! WTF CW? seriously, i’ve been waiting for this moment since my freshmen year when the electricity went out at school and i got to stay home and blaze through all three books featuring the super hot psychic gabriel.

    LE SIGH.

    um anyway

    MERMAIDS!

  4. I am in a real quandry. May 29th is the release date for Drag Me to Hell and Up. And, um . . . I want to see them both equally. I feel like when I’m at south by and they always schedule bands that should be the opposite of one another at the same time, and I’m like, YES one is alt-country and the other is screamo BUT THEY ARE BOTH AWESOME.

    I’m undecided about sherlock holmes. On the one hand, RDJ. Kicking things. On the other . . . why is he kicking things so much?

  5. xymarla Says:

    But the kicking! And the hotness!

    I thought Up came out on M’elle’s birthday? Why did I think that? I’ll be seeing DMTH the MOMENT it comes out, believe you me! But I also really, really want to see Up.

  6. Up comes out on Friday, I’m like 99% sure. Wouldn’t THAT be a double-feature?

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