It’s News Day Tuesday!

And what a busy Tuesday it is! Therefore, I’ll be keeping it brief this week, folks.

R.I.P.

Okay listen. The Dark Tower series is an absolute lifetime obsession of mine, and I have the tattoo to prove it. The only way it can be successfully translated to film is as a mini-series made up of 2 hour episodes aired Monday through Friday over three weeks on HBO, preferably with Viggo Mortensen as Roland, Gina Torres as Susannah and relative unknowns cast as Eddie and Jake. I’ve got it all figured out and have since high school. JJ, you can call me once you’re ready to hear my outline.

Dollhouse WOAH!

HOLY CRAP, you guys!

If you haven’t watched last Friday’s Dollhouse ep “Briar Rose”… !!!! Watch it immediately! If you have watched it, WATCH IT AGAIN.

ALPHA! Victor! Doc Saunders! Gross Ballard! VICTOR!

SO! MUCH! HAPPENED!

Fox, if you cancel this show after lighting the fire of obsession within the cockles of my soul…I will CUT YOU.

Ah-hem. That is all. Carry on.

Top 5 Horror Movies That Aren’t Scary

Generally, the best horror movies are the scary ones. I love horror movies because I love a good nervous giggle, the gratifying giddiness of a pounding pulse and an audible gasp—I love that the useless act of shrinking down into my seat and peering between my fingers actually makes me feel safer. But some of my favorite horror movies aren’t scary at all, and their frightlessness doesn’t take away from how fantastically cool they are.

So here are my Top 5 Horror Movies That Aren’t Even a Little Scary:

5. Motel Hell (1980)