It’s News Day Tuesday!

 presskid by you.

Hello, my little scoop-hungry fiends! I’ve got all sorts of goodies for you this week, so let’s hop to, shall we?

twilight

Okay, so I’ve never read nor seen Twilight, and I doubt I will. But this screenplay purports to tell the story of What If Twilight Were Short and Also Made Sense? And that movie? I would watch. Although I probably still wouldn’t read the book.

vampire chronicles

Need further evidence of the pervasive magic emanating off Robert Downey Jr? This news has me actually interested in a new movie with the word “vampire” in the title! GASP!

gay zombie

Gay. Zombie. Movie. Need I say more? Oh yeah, one thing more: NSFW.

josh lucaslake bell

Josh Lucas and Lake Bell have been cast in Little Murder, which sounds bland but is called a thriller so I decided to report this news. Now I’m forgetting why…

hypodermia

The teaser for Hypothermia is like 32 seconds of absolutely nothing happening and it still totally melts my face. IT LOOKS SWEET.

One of my favorite blogs, io9, has spoilers on True Blood, Smallville, Avatar, and Zombieland. Dear io9, since I said you’re my favorite blog, can I please write for you? Pretty please? No? Okay then.

brian austin green

Take a first look at Brian Austin Green’s Metallo on Smallville next season! He kind of looks like Kevin Bacon in that picture.

we have always lived in the castle

Further Films has bought the rights to the film adaption of We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Shirley Jackson’s book about a “reclusive, potentially murderous family.” I love Miz Jackson and this title just kicks so much ass. I hope they do it up right. I’m going to read it in the meantime so I can be judgmental in an informed manner.

McG discusses the future of Terminator and what went wrong with Salvation. I can tell you!

The first official clip of The Final Destination is up! And here’s another! I have nothing to add other than the hilarious and kick-ass Mindy Kaling’s recent tweet: “Final Destination is amazing cuz Death is the psycho killer. The same Death from like, The Civil War and Titanic.” Sage indeed, Mindy. She’s my personal hero.

This could possibly be Whiplash’s new ‘stume in Iron-Man 2. ‘stume, I just made that up. Does it sound cool? Maybe? I’m really bad at inventing slang.

Carcass

Find the pretty rad teaser poster for Finnish horror flick Carcass here. Well, and also above. But there’s more info at the link.

rec 2

The new one sheet and stills for [rec]2 are up and looking all sorts of awesome.

inglourious-basterds

Posh D has a write-up on seeing Inglourious Basterds with a Q&A with Quentin and Eli! As well as Julie and Julia, for the ladies among you.

Emily Browning talks a bit about Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch.

alison pillellen page

Alison Pill is replacing Ellen Page in the amazingly themed lesbian werewolf flick, Jack & Diane, co-starring with Page’s Juno bestie, Olivia Thirlby. This will make no difference whatsoever as far as I can tell, since Alison Pill looks EXACTLY LIKE Ellen Page, so much so that I thought the above picture on the left WAS Ellen Page. It’s not. It’s Pill. Just FYI.

castlevania

The other, shittier Paul Anderson talks about Castlevania, if you care.

Superhero Kathryn Bigelow’s extra-special-awesome Near Dark is coming to blu-ray!

matt damonemily blunt

Matt Damon and Emily Blunt will bring their respective hotness to The Adjustment Bureau, from the Philip K. Dick short story.

Here are some pics from Ryan Reynolds’ new horror movie Buried. See, I told you I’d find plenty of reasons to post the above pic.

Sally sent me this very scientific formula for the likelihood of apocalypse once zombies take over the earth.  I’m sorry to tell you, it doesn’t look good.

LOLZ. This Sorority Row one-sheet looks TERRIBLE. 

spikepatton-oswalt

James Marsters will join PATTON in Caprica! So many different kinds of happy here.

2995 by you.

Check out my weekly movie roundup on 29-95 for loads more deets on District 9, Kick-Ass, Bryan Singer and Battlestar, Christopher McQuarrie and the Wolverine sequel, the Straw Dogs remake, Spidey sequels, Zombieland and Avatar!

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7 Responses to “It’s News Day Tuesday!”

  1. Dude you have to watch Twilight. It is the funniest thing ever made. I can’t wait for the sequel. Seriously. Wait, let me say that in Internet-speak to emphasize my point.

    SRSLY.

  2. I’m with John. Sometimes it is an affront to me how you refuse to watch such obvious comedy gold. One of these days, m. ONE OF THESE DAYS.

    Other than twilight news (does it promise to make sense and also not be insultingly bad?), I am left with: SHIRLEY JACKSON OH MY GOD YAAAAY.

    Except that every movie adaptation I’ve ever seen of her work has made me want to vomit.

  3. double true on the twilight = comedy gold point. YES, the books are horrible and i actually want to burn them (i have *never* said that about a book before, because burning books is evil, but the twilight series is a scourge upon our civilization and must be destroyed). but the movie? SO ENTERTAINING. plus robert pattison really is hot (can’t act, but who cares?! it’s TWILIGHT for god’s sake). just the “new moon” trailer alone made me fall off my office chair.

    also thanks for the shout-out! i can’t wait to see what you think about IB.

    and, uh, the ryan reynolds movie? i was disappointed to discover, via that picture, that he did not fall into a coffin naked. WTF.

  4. Can I say that I am soooo pumped for Hypothermia? Often horror trailers and teasers give WAAAYYYY too much away – the jump out parts, the super creepy dialogue, the entire plot. But this is really, really awesome. I want MORE!

    In response to Poshdeluxe, RR could have at least been only in boxer briefs.

  5. I totally agree, Sally! The teaser gave me goosebumps (hah! I just typed boosegumps).

    Okay, I’ll watch Twilight for the LOLZ factor, but I will NOT watch it sober.

  6. I don’t about Twilight–I may have to be forced Clockwork Orange style. It appeals to me less than almost any movie out there.

    Regarding McG: WTF, mate? You sound like you knew T4 was going to be shitty the entire time. Why did you continue down the horrible path you did? I don’t think there should be a T5, much less directed by McG. I really don’t trust him to handle time travel well.

    Also, you totally called it: B.A.G. Totally does look like Kevin Bacon in that promo pic. I wish K.B. were on Smallville. That would be totally fetch.

    And BTW, ‘stume has just entered my lexicon.

  7. I’m no longer certain where by you happen to be getting the information, however good subject matter. I actually would need to spend some time researching far more or maybe understanding extra. Appreciate your fantastic information and facts I was searching for this info in my vision.

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