It’s New Day Tuesday!

newsdaytuesday

Mrs. Torrance, today Marla isn’t here either. So it’s me, Reverend Jon from the Church of Friend here! The ever lovely Marla has asked me to help out this week and guest-post her News Day Tuesday. Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy blogpost.

Marla and a pre-op Reverend Jon facing off at an historic cocktail party.

Marla and a pre-op Reverend Jon facing off at an historic cocktail party.

So, when I was called in off of the blogger bench to pinch hit for Marla, the first piece of news that got me all semi-hard was the possibility of a Jeff Bridges-Coen Brothers Reunion. It would be a remake of the only movie my grandfather has not one but Two VHS copies of—True Grit. Bridges would reprise John Wayne’s role.

"So racially he's pretty cool?"

"So racially he's pretty cool?"

Corporate villains and copywrong champions Disney held a convention last week to announce a list of preposterous plans and unnecessary franchise extensions involving everyone from Johnny Depp to Miley Cyrus, from the genetically untalented Travoltas to the slightly less genetic but more talented Muppets.

evilmickey

I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but I will say full-length Frankenweenie, Nicholas Cage’s grubby ham-hands on one of those Fantasia brooms, and Marla-fave Guillermo del Toro’s partnership with Disney. I think the last one might be the most disturbing—Peter Pan’s Labyrinth anyone? Anyone?

Buzz about The Ring 3D.

In the third movie, Samara converts to FLDS. Truly terrifying.

In the third movie, Samara converts to FLDS. Truly terrifying.

Owners of the Terminator franchise buy some time in bankruptcy court to pay back the more-sinister-than-Skynet-sounding lender Pacificor.

These two guys own the Terminator franchise. One of them has a Wayyyy better publicist it seems.

These two guys own the Terminator franchise. One of them has a Wayyyy better publicist it seems.

Erstwhile hottie Dennis Quaid will hit the screens on September 25th in the awesome-sounding Pandorum. The one-line reads:

A young crew member awakes from his hyper sleep chamber to discover he’s alone on a massive spaceship. He ventures towards the bridge in search of others and to try and figure out what happened.

Sounds awesome.

I find epic lonliness to be very frightening. But enough about my issues.

I find epic lonliness to be very frightening. But enough about my issues.

The promo images for Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist just keep getting better. (via Bloody Disgusting) And check out the new trailer here.

antichrist

Zombophiliacs take note: George Romero’s sixth _____ of the Dead movie, Survival of the Dead was the first horror movie ever accepted at the Venice film festival (a sign of the times, or is it just that good?) and reportedly received a several-minutes-long standing ovation when it showed at the festival.

A face only a mother could stand up and clap for.

A face only a mother could stand up and clap for.

The odd, handsome, and very talented Julian Sands (my favorite role is as the twink-eating Yves Cloquet in Cronenberg’s Naked Lunch) will be in Smallville Season 9 as Jor El. Obviously no one can beat Terrence Stamp—at anything, mind you—but if you have to pick a colonialist to play the emotionless evil father-figure to Clark’s hawt-hawt hotness, then I think Sands’ll give it a good whack.

As Bart Simpson said upon exiting the theater after seeing Naked Lunch "I can think of two things wrong with that title."

As Bart Simpson said upon exiting the theater after seeing Naked Lunch "I can think of two things wrong with that title."

Tom Ford (former head designer for Gucci) has a new movie, an adaptation of a Christopher Isherwood novel (read:gay-gay-gay) called A Single Man. It  got rave reviews at Venice. I’m a fan of both men, so I’m excited.

Tom Ford on his day off.

Tom Ford on his day off.

And that, folks, is all he wrote. For something entirely different than what Marla posts over here, come check out my weekly sermons at the Church of Friend. Fear not, Marla will be back next week!

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4 Responses to “It’s New Day Tuesday!”

  1. I AM SO SCARED OF ANTICHRIST. like, just the fact that it will be showing on one of the screens at fantastic fest and i will be in the near vicinity is TERRIFYING.

    excellent work, reverend jon!

  2. Thanks, Posh!
    As for the Antichrist, the concept itself has terrified me since I was a child and it was rumored that Gorbachev was really the antichrist and that his birthmark covered the mark of the beast on his forehead. As for this movie, I think it’s one of those that I’d like to pretend I’ll see, but I’ll really spend most of the time cowering against jose’s shoulder.

  3. Highly awesome post, Rev. Thanks so much for filling in, and for making me laugh out loud several times today.

  4. Thank you Marla, it was my pleasure! And I’m glad I made you laugh.

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