Archive for the Action Movie Review Category

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Posted in Action Movie Review, Film Review, Sci-Fi Movie Review with tags , , , , on June 24, 2009 by xymarla

transformerscasablanca poster

Check out my article on 29-95.com about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen wherein Michael Bay reimagines the classics. Props to my boy Matt for the awesome Casablanca poster.

Stuart Gordon Retrospective: Stuck

Posted in Action Movie Review, Film Review, Retrospective, Retrospective: Stuart Gordon with tags , , , on June 3, 2009 by xymarla

Woohoo! I saw a new(ish, 2007) Stuart Gordon movie and loved it! That man’s still got it. Not that I could or shall ever doubt him.

stuck poster by you.

Stuck is based on this absolutely awful true story of Texas woman Chante Jawan Mallard. Gordon clearly didn’t conceive of the film as straight-up horror so much as a horrific thriller, but like every Gordon filmStuck boasts a scene or seven of some major grue that you wish were not assaulting your eyeballs. It also boasts some majorly gruesome cornrows that you wish weren’t assaulting your eyeballs. 

deer in headlights by you.

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Terminator Salvation

Posted in Action Movie Review, Film Review, Sci-Fi Movie Review with tags , , , on May 26, 2009 by xymarla

Terminator Salvation

You can read my review here!

Terminator Salvation: Bring on the Hotpocalypse!

Posted in Action Movie Review, Film Review, Sci-Fi Movie Review with tags , , , on May 21, 2009 by xymarla

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Check me out (does anyone else hear that in Strong Bad’s voice?) on 29-95.com! This is not so much a request as a friendly command.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Posted in Action Movie Review, Film Review with tags , , , , , , on March 6, 2009 by xymarla

In the interest of full disclosure, the above grade is based on actual film quality—and that’s being rather generous. If I were to grade this movie based on my level of enjoyment while watching it, it would earn a solid B+. I had a serious amount of fun with this tender little asstard of a film. Granted, I know very little about Street Fighter. I’ve always been one of those annoying button pushers who would sometimes beat you serious gamers—without any strategy whatsoever—simply with the speed and dexterity of my little fingers. I’ve certainly never memorized any special moves or back stories to these characters, and I have no real stake in this franchise. So I am here to further annoy the serious gamers among you by giving some major kudos to this motion picture that was a complete and utter abortion of your all-time favorite fighting game. Sorry!

street fighter poster by you.

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