Archive for the Film Review Category

When Will We See Guillermo’s Next CRONOS?

Posted in Film Review, Horror Movie Review with tags , , , , , , on February 14, 2011 by xymarla

Yeah, yeah. We’re all excited about Frankenstein and At the Mountains of Madness. But when can we see Guillermo’s next original screenplay? Check out my post over at Badass Digest.

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Scrooged is the Greatest Christmas Movie Ever

Posted in Fantasy Movie Review, Film Review with tags , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by xymarla

Let me guess: you think Die Hard is the greatest Christmas movie ever. Well, you’re wrong! Head over to my column at Badass Digest to learn why.

Is Black Swan the Perfect Blue Remake We’ve Been Waiting For?

Posted in Film Review, Horror Movie Review with tags , , , , on December 14, 2010 by xymarla

Guys, I have a new column over at Badass Digest! I AM SO EXCITED! My first post is about the similarities of Aronofsky’s Black Swan and the 1998 anime Perfect Blue. CHECK IT OUT and leave a sister a comment, yo!

Remake vs. Original: Let Me In vs. Let the Right One In

Posted in Film Review, Horror Movie Review, Remake vs. Original with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 20, 2010 by xymarla

Welcome back to Remake vs. Original, wherein Hollywood must answer to my poison pen for their incessant remakes! Today we bring you the ULTIMATE BATTLE:

let me in vs. let the right one in

Round One: The basics.

Let Me In. USA, 2010. Written and directed by Matt Reeves. 116 mins.

Let the Right One In. Sweden, 2008. Written by John Ajvide Lindqvist from his own novel. Directed by Tomas Alfredson. 115 mins.

Title:

Let Me In is the title of the American release of the novel, because publishers thought the original title was too long. I happen to love long titles, and Let Me In just doesn’t have the same poetry. -2

Let The Right One In is one of the eeriest and most elegant titles ever, and it’s the one chosen by novelist Lindqvist. If it’s good enough for him, it should be good enough for you, AMERICA. +2

Country:

Speaking of AMERICA, I love my country bunches. But not when it comes to remaking foreign movies that just came out two years before. I never EVER like that, because JUST READ SUBTITLES, AMERICA. It’s super easy! -1

Sweden! They have snow and Lisbeth Salander and reindeer and aquavit and the Sami! I took a class on the Sami people once and they are quite interesting. Also, meat pies! I forget, did I mention Lisbeth Salander? +2 (for Lisbeth) Continue reading

Fantastic Fest!

Posted in A+ Review, Action Movie Review, Film Review, Horror Movie Review, Sci-Fi Movie Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 30, 2010 by xymarla

fantastic fest

You guys! I went to Fantastic Fest last weekend! True, I was only there for 2 days with a daytime badge, so I missed just about every single huge premiere. AND YET! I had an amazing time, saw incredible films, hung out and sang karaoke with celebrities, and I can’t wait to go back next year! Let this be a lesson to you, friends. You can totally do Fantastic Fest with no money and no time. It’s doable!

So I’m not going to get into the parties/celebrities aspect of it, even though that’s definitely a significant part of the festival, just because I know my bestie poshdeluxe will be doing  a far more thorough job of that very shortly. I’ll be sure to link to her FF post as soon as it’s up, and in the meantime, I’m going to stick to the movies!

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Machete Maidens Unleashed (2010)

machete maidens unleashed

Director: Mark Hartley (in attendance)

Writer: Mark Hartley Continue reading

Piranha 3D

Posted in A+ Review, Action Movie Review, Film Review, Horror Movie Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2010 by xymarla

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You may think this grade is a wild overestimation. After all, in earning an A+ on this blog, Piranha 3D is in the company of such gruesome cinematic feats as Candyman and Hellraiser. But for what it is—an uproarious, 88 minute schlockfest drenched in gore and teeming with glorious, fully dimensional nudity—Piranha 3D is FLAWLESS!

piranha

Holy shit, you guys! I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO CRAZY MUCH! After reading several fantastic reviews and hearing some bordering-on-sacrilege praise from my friends, my expectations were outrageously high. Mr. Marla kept warning me: “Don’t build it up too much!” but I couldn’t help myself. I built that shit HIGH, my friends. ALL THE WAY UP. And I STILL wasn’t prepared for the utter transcendence that was this movie. Continue reading

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Posted in Action Movie Review, Comic Book Movie Review, Contributor: Jon, Fantasy Movie Review, Film Review, Movie News, Sci-Fi Movie Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2010 by Jon

by Reverend Jon

Each generation loves nothing more than to revel in the nostalgia of their collective childhood experiences. As time passes, the negative aspects fade and what remains is a mythologized patchwork of rosy memories and optimistic historical events. For the baby-boomers, this translates into the narrative of perfect, happy, family-centric post-war America where the men were men and the women were ornamental that fuels so much of the Andy-Rooney-ish kvetching about the current state of affairs.

"Guhrrrr"

For my generation, born into culturally-relativist-post-post-war TV Land, this nostalgia translates into the current trend of pro-unicorn, 8-bit-loving, three-wolves-howling, super-hero-horny, i-love-the-80s, pop-up-video memedom. And it is this fuel that propels the pitch-perfect Scott Pilgrim vs. the World through its hour and fifty-two minutes of awesomeness. Continue reading