Piranha 3D

You may think this grade is a wild overestimation. After all, in earning an A+ on this blog, Piranha 3D is in the company of such gruesome cinematic feats as Candyman and Hellraiser. But for what it is—an uproarious, 88 minute schlockfest drenched in gore and teeming with glorious, fully dimensional nudity—Piranha 3D is FLAWLESS!

Holy shit, you guys! I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO CRAZY MUCH! After reading several fantastic reviews and hearing some bordering-on-sacrilege praise from my friends, my expectations were outrageously high. Mr. Marla kept warning me: “Don’t build it up too much!” but I couldn’t help myself. I built that shit HIGH, my friends. ALL THE WAY UP. And I STILL wasn’t prepared for the utter transcendence that was this movie.

It’s News Day Tuesday!

Extra! Extra! Marla's face to melt in tragic explosion of awesomeness tonight!

YES! That’s right! I’m seeing Piranha 3D this very evening and I’m CRAZY! EXCITED! Reviews are crazy good, box office numbers are decent and a sequel’s already in the works!

Loads of casting news for Matthew Vaughn’s X-Men: First Class here, including the news that Mad Men‘s January Jones will play the ultimate ice queen and forever Marla girl crush Emma Frost. Jones certainly has the right look, but I’m not convinced she can actually act. Maybe there’s more than petulant Betty to Jones’s repertoire. I hope so, because I REALLY don’t want this movie to screw up Emma Frost. Read my review of Vaughn’s Kick-Ass here.

io9 gives us a great preview of all the fall genre movies. I’m so excited about some of these!!! And markedly less so about others. What are your thoughts, readers?

AUGHHH!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!!!! AMC has revealed that The Walking Dead premiere date is October 31st. Halloweeeeen! You can check out the awe-inspiring trailer here.