Piranha 3D

You may think this grade is a wild overestimation. After all, in earning an A+ on this blog, Piranha 3D is in the company of such gruesome cinematic feats as Candyman and Hellraiser. But for what it is—an uproarious, 88 minute schlockfest drenched in gore and teeming with glorious, fully dimensional nudity—Piranha 3D is FLAWLESS!

Holy shit, you guys! I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO CRAZY MUCH! After reading several fantastic reviews and hearing some bordering-on-sacrilege praise from my friends, my expectations were outrageously high. Mr. Marla kept warning me: “Don’t build it up too much!” but I couldn’t help myself. I built that shit HIGH, my friends. ALL THE WAY UP. And I STILL wasn’t prepared for the utter transcendence that was this movie.

It’s News Day Tuesday!

Extra! Extra! Marla's face to melt in tragic explosion of awesomeness tonight!

YES! That’s right! I’m seeing Piranha 3D this very evening and I’m CRAZY! EXCITED! Reviews are crazy good, box office numbers are decent and a sequel’s already in the works!

Loads of casting news for Matthew Vaughn’s X-Men: First Class here, including the news that Mad Men‘s January Jones will play the ultimate ice queen and forever Marla girl crush Emma Frost. Jones certainly has the right look, but I’m not convinced she can actually act. Maybe there’s more than petulant Betty to Jones’s repertoire. I hope so, because I REALLY don’t want this movie to screw up Emma Frost. Read my review of Vaughn’s Kick-Ass here.

io9 gives us a great preview of all the fall genre movies. I’m so excited about some of these!!! And markedly less so about others. What are your thoughts, readers?

AUGHHH!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!!!! AMC has revealed that The Walking Dead premiere date is October 31st. Halloweeeeen! You can check out the awe-inspiring trailer here.

It’s News Day Tuesday!

 

Extra! Extra! News and Stuff and Things!

  Welcome to News Day Tuesday! Hot off the presses, from their blogs to my blog to you!
 

Eli Roth talks about the 3D technology for Piranha. We’ll see if it lives up to the eyeball-melting visuals of Step Up 3D! I have no doubt that it will live up to the story, in that it will not have one.  

 You can see the trailer for the remake of I Spit On Your Grave here. Yeah, it looks pretty cool, but mostly I’m excited about seeing if it holds up in Remake v. Original. Okay, I’m also excited that it’s pulled a no-rating for a theatrical release.  

 

Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer has a secret genre project in the works! That sounds so exciting! Read my review of Zombieland here.  

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever is a BAD movie. But I kinda dug it, for that.

You may ask yourself why I bothered to watch a straight-to-vid horror sequel. That is a perfectly reasonable question. I generally avoid such schlock, and sadly, Cabin Fever 2 pretty much reinforced that stance. But Eli Roth’s original Cabin Fever is on my Top 50 Horror Movies of the Decade list; more importantly, Cabin Fever 2 director Ti West’s The House of the Devil is on my Top 50 list, as well.

It’s News Day Tuesday!

Oooh, I have oodles of scooples for you today, my little lovelies! I love when the internet ‘splodes on itself, don’t you?

I really, really, really want to see this movie, okay? Benicio! Sir Anthony! Hugo! WOLFMAN! Thanks to the always-awesome Backline Show  for the link. Check out the vintage-y trailer and rub your hands together in delicious anticipation, á la Marla.

Yeah, well, McG, people in hell want ice water. And speaking of people in hell, DON’T MAKE ME WATCH ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR STUPID MOVIES.

It’s News Day Tuesday!

And I’ve gotten some very good news of my own to get this Tuesday rolling!

Basically, Avatar is going to completely re-invent the entire universe as we know it .

Oh so we’re responsible for the weak-ass Friday the 13th Mama Vorhees opening? Good to know.

It’s News Day Tuesday!

Scoop it up!

In box office news, UP won the day, Terminator Salvation and Drag Me to Hell are hovering around 3 and 4, respectively, Star Trek‘s in 5th and Wolverine‘s still lingering around 8.

Sweet! Check out this interview with Lorna Raver, aka Mrs. Ganush from Drag Me to Hell. And here’s an interview with Raver’s costar Justin Long. And finally, an interview with leading lady Alison Lohman.